Joke(s) of the day-April 6, 2019
6 responses | 0 likes
Started by metmike - April 5, 2019, 10:33 p.m.


– Every ten years, the monks in the monastery are allowed to break their vow of silence to speak two words. Ten years go by and it’s one monk’s first chance. He thinks for a second before saying, “Food bad.” Ten years later, he says, “Bed hard.” It’s the big day, a decade later. He gives the head monk a long stare and says, “I quit.” “I’m not surprised,” the head monk says. “You’ve been complaining ever since you got here.”


Actually my Dad told us that one when we were kids.

Comments
By 7475 - April 5, 2019, 11:25 p.m.
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What does the starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?

By 7475 - April 5, 2019, 11:27 p.m.
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They both circle Uranus in search of kling-ons!

BOOOOM!


John

By metmike - April 6, 2019, 12:23 a.m.
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Good one John!  


And just for you.................some physics jokes with learning:


Q: What did one quantum physicist say when he wanted to fight another quantum physicist?
A: Let me atom.

"Atom" should be read as "at him." An atom is the smallest building block that cannot be divided without dividing electric charge.  


Two atoms were walking across a road when one of them said, "I think I lost an electron!" "Really!" the other replied, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I 'm absolutely positive."

An atom without an electron is electrically positive.  


Q: Which right-hand rule do students use on bad physics professors?
A: Step 1: Extend your right arm forward from the elbow. Step 2: Keeping your palm facing to the left, stick out your middle finger. Step 3: Rotate your hand 90 degrees clockwise.

If you don't understand, try the procedure but only when the professor is at the blackboard with his back to the class. By the way, in Arabic nations and Israel, you use your left hand. The right-hand rule in physics is used to determine the direction of a cross product of vectors. Such cross products enter, for example, in the computation of torque and angular momentum.  


When a third grader was asked to cite Newton's first law, she said, "Bodies in motion remain in motion, and bodies at rest stay in bed unless their mothers call them to get up."

Newton's first law states that a body in motion remains in motion and a body at rest remains at rest unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.  

By 7475 - April 6, 2019, 5:56 a.m.
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Thanks Mike,but I tell 'ya.................

By carlberky - April 6, 2019, 8:49 a.m.
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 Physics, shmisics. I only use physics for constipation.

By metmike - April 6, 2019, 11:41 a.m.
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 "Physics, shmisics. I only use physics for constipation."


Did you hear about the constipated accountant?

He couldn’t budget.

Have you seen that new movie Constipated?

It hasn’t come out yet.

Did you hear about the constipated composer?

He had problems with his last movement.

Poop jokes aren’t my favorite jokes.

But they’re a solid #2.


And  now for the grand finale........

Why doesn't  Donald Trump  ever poop????

He can't keep his mouth shut long enough to build up pressure!